I forgot to weigh this morning!

Yesterday was such a crazy day--the software company I work for picked up a new client--CARLY FOR PRESIDENT.  Yes, we have hit the big-time, we are on a presidential website!  This is a really big thing for us, and it required tons of extra work for the developers--right in the middle of another big integration project.  But they got it done!

This might not seem like such a big deal to you, but I'm so proud of all of these under-30s that I work with.  They are exceptional young people, and a joy to know.  This is a small recognition of the great work that they do.

I ate too much again yesterday--but again, I managed to avoid all the things I shouldn't eat.  I'm going to spend some time this weekend preparing for next week so that things are smoother!

322.4

Another day when I ate too much, but at least I didn't carb-binge!  It's getting better...

324.2

At least the scale is moving in the right direction.  I'm so tired of being this big, this awkward, and hurting.  My knees are really killing me these days.   I was too big to sit in the desk at St. George last night when I went to my scripture class.  I really want to make a serious, lasting change in my life.

327.8

I guess the full scope of the damage from the weekend still hasn't shown up.  But yesterday was better.  I ate too much, but I didn't eat anything that I shouldn't have.

And I didn't get any exercise.

Today will be better.

327

Yep.  That's the number I just read on the scale. It's what happens when you spend a weekend eating whatever-the-heck you want.  And while I know some of it is water, I also know that I've got to re-train my body.

It starts today.  With exercise, only 1 diet soft drink, plenty of water, and good clean food.

letting myself get out of control

Yesterday went well, until the evening.  I got upset with my husband over something so stupid--me having to travel to New Orleans today to watch him play tennis.  I was already booked for my UDC convention and then his tennis team made the state championships.  The convention was here in town and I couldn't get off work to go out of town with him.  I just should have said "darn, can't make it" but I didn't.  Instead I put together a complicated plan to get a rental car and drive there.

Of course, this required me to miss even more of my convention, but I was OK with that.  At one point I had arranged for a friend to drive with me to the airport to pick up the rental, drive me to New Orleans, and then drive himself home in the rental.  I would ride home from the tournament with my husband.  We would connect on Sunday to return the rental.  This was a great plan because I really, really, really am anxious about driving in New Orleans.

At the last minute my husband (without consulting me) ended up riding to New Orleans with another teammate.  So now I have to drive myself in the rental, because we need to have a car in the city.  With the ever-present danger of rain delays (all of Friday's play was cancelled due to rain) we can't take the risk of missing Mass on Sunday.

So last night, after my UDC banquet and presentation, I had to drive myself--on the interstate, in the dark--all the way to the airport to pick up the rental, and then all the way home.  I was a basket case by the time I got into the house.  And mad.  Mad at him, mad at myself for not just saying "no" when the team first qualified for the tournament and I realized that I couldn't take off from work and travel with him.  So I ate.  I at the new potatoes that were on the plate at the banquet.  I ate the lemon square and the cookie we were served for desert.  Once I got home I ate 2 big rolls with butter, a bunch of Jordan Almonds, and a few mini-candies that were in a treat bag.

But today is a new day.  I still have to deal with the stress and anxiety of driving to New Orleans, but I'm determined to make the best food choices that I can today.  They may not be perfect.  They may not even fit my new-and-preferred way of eating (who knows what they will have at the tennis courts) but I will make each decision consciously and in full control of myself.  And that's a victory.

Weight:  322.6

2 victories!

Yes!  2 victories!  

Victory #1:  I made it through the banquet without eating the tempting carbs--a roll, some luscious-looking mashed sweet/white potatoes with goat cheese, and this brownie that looked to-die-for.  Because you know what?  It would be to-die-for, and food isn't worth dying for!  I ate 2 of the Jordan Almonds in the goodie box on the table but that was it--the rest of the candy came home for my darling husband.  I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!  

Victory #2:  Even though I ate more than I should have of good-for-me food, I still managed to loose a little weight!

Weight:  321.4

Crazy day yesterday!

Weight:  322.2

Ran like crazy yesterday, and munched all the way.  Nothing that wasn't on-plan, just a bunch of it!  But not diving into the cheese rolls that I bought for hubby's dinner was a success, wan't it?

I have a banquet tonight.  Going to make the best choices that I can...stick with protein and veggies, skip grains and potatoes.  I'll have a Quest bar and a bottle of water while I'm driving from work to the banquet.  That should fill me up and keep me on track.  

Winning Wednesday!

Weight: 322.2

One down, a lifetime to go!

Daily Stats:

Weight:  323.8

Ketosis:  no

Breakfast:   French Vanilla Atkins shake

Lunch:  Baked Fish and broccoli with butter

It all went crazy after lunch.  I ate sausages, green beans with butter, another Atkins shake, cheese, and drank several diet soft drinks.  But I didn't grab the bread, or the chips.  I didn't get in the car and go get something sweet and high carb.  So it was a success!

The first day

I'm back.  All 324.2 pounds of me.  The most I've ever weighed.  How did this happen?

I don't know.  Honestly, I don't.  I can search for reasons, but they all go by in a blur.  And I don't know that they matter anyway.  What matters is that it stops today.

So today my new life starts.  My new low-carb and exercise lifestyle.

I want to live.

Breakfast:  Atkins French Vanilla shake

Lunch:  Subway double chicken chopped salad with oil and vinegar

Dinner:  Baked fish with broccoli

Snacks:  4 oz. cheddar cheese, pork rinds

Waist:  50.5 inches

Exercise:  30 minutes on the treadmill, level 2, 2 mph